：湯姆少兒細挑國際英語—口若懸河—由伯明漢春雷教育集團聯(lián)麗質(zhì)合全球著名風月無邊的語言教育眾志成城集團AUR狗咬呂洞賓ALOG巨得風就是雨鈍刀子割肉資打造！湯聲振林木姆少兒國際雅俗共賞英語——立黑牛生白犢足于中國數(shù)執(zhí)法如山千年的文化富相積淀和傳統(tǒng)慧眼教育的考試強壯大綱，結(jié)合優(yōu)美西方先進、顧前不顧后高趣味性的秀麗勻稱多元教學方動聽瘦削法和教師資蔚為壯觀源，在提升扶危濟困英語口語的冰炭不同器急來報佛腳同時提升考家狗向里吠開門七件事試成績。讓狗眼看人低孩子在湯姆病僧勸患僧少兒英語的陡峭國際課堂上不急之務(wù)輕舉妄動，開心學習豁達，快樂成長李下無蹊徑。內(nèi)容來自寵搜網(wǎng)(www.meixindoors.cn)，請勿采集！

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英語小笑話，越短越好，帶翻譯

1、Goldfish金魚

Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

Fred: Where are you going to keep them?

Stan: In the bathroom 。

Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?

Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them!

斯丹：我贏了 92 條金魚。

弗雷德：你想在哪兒養(yǎng)它們？

斯丹：浴室。

弗雷德：但是你想洗澡時怎么辦？

斯丹：蒙住它們的眼睛！

2、 The Revenge 欺騙的代價

Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With alow voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmerJones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson:"But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jonesonce cheated me in a horse deal!"

老農(nóng)約翰遜就要死了。他的家人都站在床邊。他聲音低沉地對妻子說：“我死后，我想你嫁給農(nóng)夫瓊斯?！?妻子說：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁給任何人?！?約翰遜：“但我希望你這么做?！?妻子：“為什么？” 約翰遜：“因為瓊斯曾在一筆販馬的交易中欺騙了我。”

3、I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一只雞

Psychiatrist: What's your problem?

Patient: I think I'm a chicken.

Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?

Patient: Ever since I was an egg!

精神病醫(yī)師：你哪里不舒服？

病人：我認為我是一只雞。

精神病醫(yī)師：這種情況從什么時候開始的？

病人：從我還是一只蛋的時候開始。

4、How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出來

Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keeptheir ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed upto her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum outfrom my ears?"

當空中小姐給乘客們發(fā)口香糖的時候，她解釋說口香糖有助于他們防止耳鳴。飛機著陸后，一位乘客跑到這位空中小姐面前，說道：“ 我馬上就要見到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖從耳朵里面取出來呢？”

5、 Where Am I 我在哪兒

An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside. He saw afarmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer,"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" "Yes, " the farmerlooked at him strangely and said, "you are in your car, sir."

一個英國人在鄉(xiāng)下開車時迷了路，他看見一個農(nóng)民正在附近的地里干活。于是他就把車開過去問那位農(nóng)民：“勞駕，您能告訴我我現(xiàn)在這是在哪兒嗎？” “可以?！鞭r(nóng)夫奇怪地看了看他，然后說道：“你現(xiàn)在在你的車子里，先生?！?p>6、Chiefis at the wedding 長官在婚禮上

A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street.

"But officer," the man said, "I can explain."

"Just be quiet," snapped the officer."I'm going to put you injail until the chief gets back."

"But ,officer, I …."

"I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"

A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Youare lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a goodmood when he gets back."

"Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm thegroom."

大街上的一個超速駕駛者被攔住了?！暗蔷佟边@個人說道，“我可以解釋的”。“保持安靜”，突然說道?！拔覍涯闼屯O(jiān)獄，直到長官回來?！暗?，，我，，，”。“我說過了保持安靜，你要到監(jiān)獄了。”幾小時后，向監(jiān)獄里看了看說道“算你運氣好，因為我們的長官正在他女兒的婚禮上。他將帶著一個愉快的心情回來的。” “你確定”在牢房里的這個人說道?！拔揖褪切吕裳健薄?p>7、Who Is the Laziest 誰最懶

Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you aquestion. Who is the laziest person in your class?

Tom: I don't know, father.

Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing andwriting, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?

Tom: Our teacher, father.

父親：哎，湯姆，今天我跟你們老師談過，現(xiàn)在我想問你個問題。你們班上誰最懶？湯姆：我不知道，爸爸。父親：啊，不對，你知道！想想看，當別的孩子們都在做作業(yè)、寫字時，誰在課堂上坐著，只是看人家做功課？湯姆：我們老師，爸爸。

8、TwoBirds 兩只鳥

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now whocan tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside theswallow.

老師： 這兒有兩只鳥，一只是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎？學生：我指不出，但我知道答案。老師：請說說看。學生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。